{"title":"T-SHIRT WARD","description":"\u003ch3 class=\"paragraph\" dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDepartment of Financial Coping — Outpatient Services\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"paragraph\" dir=\"auto\"\u003eStandard-issue coping mechanisms in 425GSM oversized format. Each tee is prescribed for a specific stage of market-induced grief: denial (WAGMI Bear), anger (Rugpull Survivor), bargaining (Gas Fees Ate My Lunch), depression (The Last Airdrop), and acceptance (47 Shitcoins).\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"paragraph\" dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eINDICATION:\u003c\/strong\u003e Chronic optimism despite all available evidence.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"paragraph\" dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDOSAGE:\u003c\/strong\u003e 1 per market crash. Do not exceed.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"paragraph\" dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong class=\"\"\u003eSIDE EFFECTS:\u003c\/strong\u003e Belonging, knowing nods from strangers, hope.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"the-ultra-tee-wagmi-bear-425gsm-oversized-rektwear","title":"The Ultra Tee — WAGMI Bear | 425GSM Oversized | REKTWEAR","description":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRX-001\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eINDICATION:\u003c\/strong\u003e Chronic optimism despite all available evidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDOSAGE:\u003c\/strong\u003e 1 per market crash. Do not exceed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSIDE EFFECTS:\u003c\/strong\u003e Belonging, knowing nods from strangers, hope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGROUP MASCOT, CHARACTER CARD #1. STATUS: NOT OKAY.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe WAGMI Bear is not a symbol of hope. He is a cautionary tale in a torn suit. Bought the top. Held the bag. Watched the rocket crash into the same dirt he is standing on. He is every member of this group, and he is wearing it anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted jumbo on 12.5 ounces of 100% pre-shrunk cotton. 425GSM. Oversized drop-shoulder. The collar holds. The hem does not curl. The fabric is heavier than the portfolio.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not a meme. This is a membership card. Welcome to the meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e— REKTWEAR\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eSPECS\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• 100% pre-shrunk cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• 425GSM \/ 12.5 oz\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Oversized drop-shoulder fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Ships in branded charcoal packaging\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eFIT\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eModel is 6'0\" \/ 183cm, wearing size L. 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Express available at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"PODpartner","offers":[{"title":"Off White \/ XS","offer_id":54633221194055,"sku":"110U018YCHM02392856","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XS","offer_id":54633221226823,"sku":"110U018YCLM02392856","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carbon Gray \/ XS","offer_id":54633221259591,"sku":"110U018YCMM02392856","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cactus Green \/ XS","offer_id":54633221292359,"sku":"110U018YCNM02392856","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":54633221325127,"sku":"110U018YCQM02392856","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash Gray \/ XS","offer_id":54633221357895,"sku":"110U018YCRM02392856","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Off White \/ 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Do not exceed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSIDE EFFECTS:\u003c\/strong\u003e Belonging, knowing nods from strangers, hope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGROUP SESSION: ORGANIZED HOLDING. PATIENT ID: DON.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe HODLfather doesn't panic. He sits in his chair. He holds the dog. He shows you the portfolio — down 95%, all time. And then he makes you an offer you can't refuse: buy his bags. This is not financial advice. This is a protection racket where the only thing being protected is his average.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted jumbo on 12.5 ounces of 100% pre-shrunk cotton. 425GSM. Oversized drop-shoulder. The suit is still pressed. The portfolio is not. The family business is restructuring.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLeave the gun. 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Express available at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"PODpartner","offers":[{"title":"Off White \/ XS","offer_id":54633621225799,"sku":"110U018YCHM02392866","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Brown \/ XS","offer_id":54633621258567,"sku":"110U018YCLM02392866","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carbon Gray \/ XS","offer_id":54633621291335,"sku":"110U018YCMM02392866","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cactus Green \/ XS","offer_id":54633621324103,"sku":"110U018YCNM02392866","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":54633621356871,"sku":"110U018YCQM02392866","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash Gray \/ XS","offer_id":54633621389639,"sku":"110U018YCRM02392866","price":74.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Off White \/ 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Do not exceed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSIDE EFFECTS:\u003c\/strong\u003e Belonging, knowing nods from strangers, hope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGROUP SESSION: MEMECOIN TRAUMA. PATIENT ID: YOLO.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou saw the rocket. You saw the dog. You saw the moon. You did not see the cliff. Now you own 47 million coins worth less than the gas it took to buy them. The sunglasses stay on so nobody sees the fear in your eyes. The gold chain is fake. The portfolio is real. The anxiety is certified.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on 12.5 ounces of 100% pre-shrunk cotton. 425GSM. Oversized drop-shoulder. The rocket in the background is still smoking. The meeting is now in session.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the group. Admission was free. 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