{"product_id":"the-ultra-tee-the-hodlfather-425gsm-oversized-rektwear","title":"The Ultra Tee — The HODLfather | 425GSM Oversized | REKTWEAR","description":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRX-002\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eINDICATION:\u003c\/strong\u003e Chronic confidence in family business, prolonged exposure to unrecoverable averages and repeated offers involving somebody else’s bags.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDOSAGE:\u003c\/strong\u003e One 425GSM issue before the next restructuring. Size according to the official garment chart.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSIDE EFFECTS:\u003c\/strong\u003e Calm eye contact. Organized holding. Increased attachment to the dogcoin. Sudden requests to respect the family position.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGROUP SESSION: ORGANIZED HOLDING. PATIENT ID: DON.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe HODLfather doesn't panic. He sits in his chair. He holds the dog. He shows you the portfolio — down 95%, all time. And then he makes you an offer you can't refuse: buy his bags. This is not financial advice. This is a protection racket where the only thing being protected is his average.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted jumbo on 12.5 ounces of 100% pre-shrunk cotton. 425GSM. Oversized drop-shoulder. The suit is still pressed. The portfolio is not. The family business is restructuring.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLeave the gun. Take the dogcoin.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e— REKTWEAR\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eSPECS\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e• 100% pre-shrunk cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e• 425GSM \/ 12.5 oz\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e• Oversized drop-shoulder fit\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e• Ships in branded charcoal packaging\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eFIT\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eModel is 6'0\" \/ 183cm, wearing size L. Oversized fit — size down for a closer body, true to size for the boxy drape.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eCARE\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWash cold. Hang dry. Wear it like a badge.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSHIPPING\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMade to order through our current fulfillment network. 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