T-SHIRT WARD
Department of Financial Coping — Outpatient Services
Standard-issue coping mechanisms in 425GSM oversized format. Each tee is prescribed for a specific stage of market-induced grief: denial (WAGMI Bear), anger (Rugpull Survivor), bargaining (Gas Fees Ate My Lunch), depression (The Last Airdrop), and acceptance (47 Shitcoins).
INDICATION: Chronic optimism despite all available evidence.DOSAGE: 1 per market crash. Do not exceed.SIDE EFFECTS: Belonging, knowing nods from strangers, hope.